Fashion. Clothing. My closet. I literally feel naked with these things. Sounds dramatic, but interests are interests and this is something I carry. It is important to me not for looks, but for visuals. And confidence. To add a dimension to myself just by adding an article of clothing and messing with colors, shapes, designs, etc. It may not be the most fashionable thing, but that isn't the point. The point in not to look good, but to feel good. To be whatever "character" or "person", visually, that you want. And, to be completely honest, my whole day revolves around my clothes. If I am wearing something that is physically uncomfortable, then for the rest of the day, I will feel on the edge and a bit cranky. If I am wearing something that doesn't look "good" to me or I don't "feel" the outfit, I will be on the edge and a bit cranky. It is odd, I know, but it is the thing I carry and without it, I am naked; physically and spiritually.
My dreams. Oh there is a lot of them but I will narrow them down to 3 things. My life goal is to learn, teach, and create. To be an ARTIST. I don't want to be a school teacher, but I want to teach everyone about the importance of the awareness of life. I don't just want people to know, or for people to understand, I want people to take the information life gives them, and apply it to their lives. You can know something, or understand something, but to fully grasp it and genuinely understand it is to take advantage of that knowledge and use it in your life. I want people to be aware of what is going on and to not view things in a single dimension and perspective because that limits your spectrum of knowledge. I want people to feel positivity and add this positive aura around themselves. Because usually, what you put into life, is what you are going to get. And people can learn from you and your life, so you will be helping others by simply being yourself. I want to teach people to be themselves. Sounds cliche, but really. Outside forces and the way you want people to perceive you gets in the way of finding yourself. That is what I want to teach. And much much much more of course, but there is only so much I can type. But before I do all of that. I want to learn. I want to learn from life, from people, from society, from my surroundings and become an expert at understanding my life and myself and the conflicts and situations that will occur and find the most efficient route to overcome them. I truly want to learn. I also want to create; to become an ARTIST. To not just tell people about these things, but to show them in visual, metaphorical, symbolic, artistic ways. Whether it be digital art, film, theatre, a painting or drawing, a collage, whatever art form there is, I want to get my hands on and use it to spread these messages to the best of my ability. But not yet. I must master the task of understanding before I dive into this world of ART. This is a very complicated task because you will learn until the day you die. If that is the case, then I will create and teach until I am dead. There is no stopping me.
A relationship that truly inspires me is my mother. There isn't much to say because there is too much to say. All that I can/will say is that the impact she has on me is not because of the things that she has done for me, but the pure joy and genuine willingness to continue to love me and strive to make me the happiest I can be. She really brings out the best in me, and she sees herself in me, while I see myself in her.
I am smart. I am beyond open minded. I am wise. I am everything because I allow myself to be everyone and open myself to whatever I can, whether it be insane or dull. I am not smart. I am not beyond open minded. I am not wise. Because I will be, but not yet. Maybe now I am those things, but I will be more those things as I grow. I truly just want to grow as a human being and continue to think and think and understand and learn and teach because without these things, I am nothing. I need these things to survive and become what I want to become and be everything. I am extremely passionate as you can tell, but that is my fuel and my food to satisfy my hunger for growth.
A memory I remember is a loss of a friend. Not a physical death, but a death from my life. A complete absence of them. This taught me to be alone, and to be truly alone. I hated it. I really hated it in the beginning and it really sucked. But without this period of loneliness, there would be no independence. And without independence,. you don't have confidence and true passion because you are relying not 100% on yourself. And that is what I had to do. Get on my OWN 2 feets and be my OWN person and I can't be happier because of that. Luckily, that person is in my life now and that is all that matters. Now we can share our independence and learn from one another and be the dream team.
I am glad we got this assignment, because it was exactly what I needed. A reflection and a reminder of why I am happy and who I am and what I want to be. Thank you. Hope people are inspired, I know I am.
